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I agree that cops are out of control. They act as if everyone is out to get them and they are the "good guys" and we are the enemy. I have been threatened by cops many times over the years, and I was not breaking the law either. One time I was driving down a state road, and a cop came flying up behind me, I slowed down, put on my hazards, and was trying to pull over into a driveway, when he went crazy. The state patrol cop tried to do the ditch maneuver on us. I had my wife, 6 month old baby, 3 year old son in the truck with me. I stopped in the middle of the road and he came to the car with his pistol ready to kill us all for no reason. Luckily he chilled out to some degree and didn't shoot us, but sat there yelling at us and telling us that is was within his right to kill us all. I told him we were just a family and not criminals and he called me a liar. Eventually he let us go with not record of the encounter, but I thought he was going to kill all of us. There was another state trooper that harassed my wife for over 6 months every day when she was going to work. Here is the kicker though, we are your average white folks living in the country.
We have no criminal records, but the state patrol cops are just crazy and seem to want to kill everyone. I think the problem is more that they hire sociopaths as cops. White people are shot and killed by the cops more then blacks. In 2019 more then twice as many white people where killed by cops then blacks. Trust me I know how this is. One of my friends was shot and killed by the cops when he was drunk and at a bar, and unarmed. My brother was shot in the chest and killed and I had to take him off life support. I feel the pain of all people being killed by cops. It is not right, but all this craziness of blaming it on all white people that we are seeing is just crazy. I have been told so many times that I am racist because I am white, yet I have never been racist against anyone, but I do really dislike stupid people. Wish people could stop with the race thing and just work together to be people. I can care less what race someone is if they are treating each other with respect, but I hate being told that I am a racist just because I am white. I also get tired of being told I have white privilege because I am white. I grew up poor, with no father around. I spent a lot of my time on the streets, but I worked hard to get ahead, sometimes working up to 3 jobs to do it. That is not privilege, but hard work.
I am not trying to rant against you. You seem to have your heart in the right place. Like you said, all the people using Floyd to destroy our neighborhoods and kill people is a whole different thing. None of what is happening right now is going to make things better, it is only going to divide us more and that is what the higher powers want. How does anyone win in this? How is a white person suppose to win when people say things like they did the other night on CNN by saying "if you are a white person and say you aren't racist, then you are a racist"? Do people really think that this is going to make white people not racists? if anything it will make white people racist, because we can't even say we aren't without being told we are just because we said we aren't. That's just crazy. I believe in God, and God does not see race. Jesus was not even white. We are told to love each other, but no one believes in God anymore and that is why we are seeing everything go to crap.
I am sorry to hear that you have had people look at you differently because of being black. That too I understand. I grew up in two non white neighborhoods. One was a Hispanic community who eventually took us in, but many hated us for being white and in their community. The other was a mostly a black community and the high school I went to was at least 80% black. I was so discriminated against there. I had only one black friend, who was super cool too me, the rest where Hispanic, white, or Asian. Then in my second year he told me he could not be my friend anymore because I was white. Discrimination goes both ways, and there are plenty white people that fully understand what its like.
Most white people out there are not racist, but it is beginning to feel like the entire black community is racist against whites. Yes blacks were held as slaves. But none of the white people in existence in this country were a part of that. We can not be blamed for that. Not a single person in my family owned a slave, but I am told I need to apologize for it. That makes no sense.
Lets all try to get along. I wish you well, and hope that you can forgive those who have wronged you and understand that there are also lots of good people out there that have your back regardless of skin color. Take Care!